Ywam YP 2011

I’m going to university this coming fall and im pretty excited. I got on early registration (even though im a first year student) I am playing on the volleyball team so i got on the early list, lucky me!! But before the season we have to do this fundraiser to show the community that we are serious and its a way of proving that we want this sports program to continue running. So tonight was a BBQ slash meeting. I dont know my team very well so I was expecting to bond with the guys. But was i so so wrong. I got there and there were girls…The girls team is in on fundraiser too and i was not aware of that. I am shy. I am socially awkward and do weird slash strange things when i am nervous. If being awkward was my profession i would make a killing! For instances i would usually not eat in front of girls because anything and everything you could possibly think of would go wrong. So the simple task of picking up something with a fork and bringing it to your mouth would not be so simple in my case. I would pick up my food, bring it to my mouth and it would without a doubt..at some point fall off and make a mess on my pants. I am not good at the social situations especially when you have no escape from talking. So i got there and these girls arrived and sat beside me, all that happened was exchange of names and then i was out the conversations done for the night. I’m alright if asked a question i’ll probably just spit out words. Thats what happens when im nervous i say whatever comes to mind and it will be slightly off from the truth. I’ll be like what, why did i say that?? If i am really nervous my cheeks and lips start to quiver and twitch its the worst….Girls are my kryptonite. Its weird too, people mistake my shyness as being cocky. Like i dont care when in actual fact i am shy and i dont know what to say. I got to work on this….

maddoctormaddie asked: Thanks for the follow 8D

No worries, thank you!

I’m not talking about dreams as in things to accomplish in life I mean dreams when you sleep. Yesterday I was debating with my mother if I had enough faith would God let me fly?? Which is really dumb because I fly in my dreams all the time. But anyways last night I had about 6 dreams that were pretty cool. And I think God let’s you experience things in your dreams that you probably wouldn’t experience in everyday life. Okay my first dream I was Captain America fighting winged monkeys. I already wrote a status about it..i’ve been pumping out status’ today. How cool is that, its not every night your Captain America beating up monkeys. I had another dream that I was Thor fighting Hulk just like they did in The Avengers. I also got to fly around when I was Thor too! Next, I had a dream that my car got broken into, it was literally stripped down to nothing. They took almost everything. They left my insurance and left my broken phone for some reason…and I wasn’t even mad about it, it was weird…then I had a dream I was going to lead a worship song at Northview. But it wasn’t even a worship song, it was U2 - Vertigo, I love that song lol. My dreams are awesome, and I thank the Lord for them. I’m not just saying that, I actually do. Even though I don’t get to fly or fight monkeys or the Hulk in real life I am lucky that I get to do those things in my dreams.

No, i’m not married, but i’m trusting and hoping that I will be lucky enough to someday be. I got a journal for her, and I write about my days, how they are going, and the things God has been teaching slash speaking to me. Its really awesome and so helpful. A really great friend of mine suggested I try it and its doing wonders. If you are reading this and think its a pretty sweet idea tell somebody about it, give it a try, write to your spouse and encourage someone else to do the same thing. I showed my sister my wifes journal and she loved it. You could see in her face how badly she wanted one for herself. She would go nuts if her husband does that for her. Im excited to see where this all goes and if I’ll be able to give it to my wife…I mean if I’ll actually get married….

I really wanted to talk, well write about this. I think its kinda funny. There was this girl I’m not gonna leave any clues to who it might be. Basically there was this girl that I really liked. The feels came and grew out of no way. Well not that I knew of, but I guess self consciously they were there. I had a dream that she was talking to me and for some strange reason she kissed me. It was that one dream, that one idea that got the whole thing going for me. And when that happened, around that time she kept popping up in my dreams. I remember having a dream that it was my birthday and she there and we weren’t just friends. So these dreams started this idea and I ran with it! My feelings for her grew for a pretty long period of time. It was so funny. I noticed that I started to copy her. She would do this thing when she was excited about something. She would step back with her arms out wide, and a smile just ready to explode with excitement and reasons why the thing she us so excited about is the best thing in the world. She is goofy, beautiful and absolutely hilarious. I wonder how she’s doing, what she’s up to…hopefully life is treating her right. Just recently she appeared in my dreams again. Thats why I write about her now. I was at home, working on something with my dad when out of no where she’s was at my house. So right away I told her, “Just pause, I’m gonna get changed.” So I changed and I’m thinking, “Okay, I will not let her go without giving her a kiss.” So there she is and were going in for a hug and she says, “Oh, not so close.” So it was a lean-in-only-shoulders-touching-hug. (Pretty much an ‘A’ ) In my head im thinking, “Okay this is my chance”….. I go in for the kiss and she says, “Liam, I’m getting married, I’m getting married to Sam Richards.” I’m totally taken by surprise, who is this Sam Richards…..and the look on her face was soul tearing (soul tearing really grasps the feeling, the emotion of the moment that no other descriptive word could) the look on her face was, you are too late, we could have been but you are too late, I am with Sam Richards now… :| soul tearing indeed. Only God Knows. Only God Knows the answer to these strange dreams and why Sam Richard and her are meant to be.

Its weird I’ve been so bored of my life and just working. Im no longer working to live but living to work and I’m tired of it. Im losing my hungry for religion and I’m not sure why our exactly what I want from it. Its interesting when I first started to feel this way at youth church our leader said if you’re tired of religion go to God and he’ll give you rest….seems like the prefect answer for how I feel but Idk. But how depressing is that lol I will snap out of this soon enough :D

This last weekend I was involved a really sweet Youth Church Reach Conference. It was a time to be in prayer and learn how to ‘REACH’ for those friends, family members, Co-workers that don’t know God. And a lot of awesome worship too. But that’s not what I wanted to talk about. I Need More Light. I Need More of God. At this conference we were challenged with two little things that seem somehow impossible. To 1. Encourage 2. Stop Whining and Complaining Right now at this very moment I am finding it very easy to complain. I am very cheesed off. I can’t sleep due to some devilish nightmares, yesterday too. I can see good things from this though. 1. I must be doing something right which is pissing off the devil to in return piss me off (with nightmares). 2. I can use the 3 hours of sleep that I won’t get to pray, read the Bible, and talk with God. Hopefully these two positive outcomes will cancel out my negative attitude slash complaining. In my dreams I’m praying. Its very cool, I’m starting to pray more and more. But I also can’t seem to find a good light in my dreams. When I’m in a dark place the lights I turn on seem to have no affect. Maybe the light in my dreams is connected to my relationship with God. I’m thinking its time to not alone turn on those lights but brighten them too! :D

:) I wouldn’t worry about it, its just a number, don’t let a little number like that get to you. Now a number like 20 that’s something to get excited about… In a two more sleeps I will be alive for 20 years. Its amazing to make it this far, to look at my opportunities and my accomplishments. I praise the Lord for them and my many blessings. I cherish my life He has given me. So for my last birthday I was away in Australia for YWAM (I blogged about it in my earlier posts) but for birthdays they pick 5 people to encourage the birthdayee. For me it changed my life. Literally, it showed me who I am and more importantly who God made me to be. So I got the idea instead of birthday wishes on my Facebook wall. I would ask for encouragements the day before. Nothing too crazy, it could be a word at least. I wonder if that’s too much to ask, I wonder if its making it bigger than it really is. Maybe it is but whose gonna say if it is. First it would take more eyes than mine to read this. It would actually mean the world to me. I wonder a if it did work if it would catch on but let’s not get ahead of myself. But if not, I know that being 20 will be memorable and God had got plans for me! :D

I was thinking about it and I want to leave a legacy that by the very thought of it would make people smile and laugh. Like for instances if I were to die today, or tomorrow or the day after tomorrow or the day after the day after tomorrow or after that and so on and so on after the day tomorrow so on forth. If I were to die soon it would really suck because my birthday is coming up this Tuesday!!! I turn 20, and I’m sure it’ll feel so much different on the other. But what im trying to say is I hope to be remembered as a happy, joyful, love to laugh funny guy.